I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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