wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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