I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Houston, we have a blender
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
