Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's blow job season.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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