Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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