found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
