Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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