i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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