I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
