will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
