the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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