just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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