lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
