Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.