Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.