Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag. http://tfl.nu/8spr
  Replies (6) Good night (1451) Bad night (2220)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk http://tfl.nu/jksc
  Replies (39) Good night (4159) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole. http://tfl.nu/al7a
  Replies (16) Good night (884) Bad night (4060)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously. http://tfl.nu/nor0
  Replies (43) Good night (1343) Bad night (5649)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w4ku
  Replies (17) Good night (737) Bad night (6729)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed???? http://tfl.nu/zsp8
  Replies (39) Good night (6424) Bad night (1670)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people... http://tfl.nu/4gx3
  Replies (16) Good night (2340) Bad night (5819)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge http://tfl.nu/to4j
  Replies (25) Good night (965) Bad night (6156)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues. http://tfl.nu/ux3u
  Replies (19) Good night (8456) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation. http://tfl.nu/0izo
  Replies (5) Good night (1031) Bad night (1967)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend http://tfl.nu/32kc
  Replies (2) Good night (2301) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): 100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun. http://tfl.nu/nptp
  Replies (5) Good night (2081) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging http://tfl.nu/urdf
  Replies (27) Good night (913) Bad night (2637)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves http://tfl.nu/ye71
  Replies (4) Good night (585) Bad night (1583)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant. http://tfl.nu/s61d
  Replies (1) Good night (1227) Bad night (393)

Randomize