why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
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Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat