saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
