I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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