U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
