They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
