New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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