scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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