new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
