its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
