He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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