Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Randomize
