1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
