the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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