With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
