Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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