Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
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