The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
