I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
