i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I need a beard to bite.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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