I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
