I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
