Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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