Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
