yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
