Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
