I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
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Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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