i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
