I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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