Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
No subtext here. People are naked.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize