Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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