We're facebook friends in real life
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
