So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
