man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
