I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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