Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
