i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I intend to get homeless drunk
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
