The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
