Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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