I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
