He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
