he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
