My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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