She said her name was "party"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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