I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
