Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
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Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
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Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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