How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Less talking, more tequila
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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