I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Farmville is her only friend.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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