OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
